Well Rounded Nerds » A little groggy yet

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

There have some recent inquiries into my whereabouts and well being. Such concern is appreciated but unfounded. The internets are overwhelming and sometimes I need to retreat into a little corner and remember that IamMEIamME.IamME..IamME…I am me. Alternately, that might have been sugar overload.

After getting out of that little corner, I clearly need sustenance to restore energy and resume full snark readiness. So, Chuckles appeared from the sky and I summoned Pinko from the bowels of the earth to go forth and seek food items of great merit and worthiness.

Continue on to read, and see, the glorious details of the adventure!

After escaping the labyrinth known only as soma, we proceeded boldly into the forest. Of course, no one goes into the forest without some bread crumbs. Luckily we found some kind soul to provide us with these…

Refreshed and armed with this time-proven technology we were able to successfully survive the area. Next, we found a valley full of fruit. Surprisingly, the people there guarded the resource very effectively. However, we did manage a few glimpses of the food they would eat. They must hoard their own fruit and instead eat massive quantities of meat. Luckily, we had brought Chuckles the All-Devourer along and we were able to eat our way to success.

While I am unable to convey the knowledge of how harrowing the experience was, I hope these snapshots can capture some sense of our adverse circumstances:

One would hope after that harrowing adventure that we were finally clear. However, after being mugged by some amorphous blob that then tormented us with a haunting melody that would not take physical form, we were lured farther north.

There we were presented the ultimate challenge — faux chorizo. At first, it was hidden inside these croquettas but then they got bolder and blatantly showed off this substance on top of mushrooms. At first we were strong and saw the hazard it presented. I mean, look at those bubbling cauldrons of fat. Who would want to eat them. We could smell that inside them all was not right. That inside was a mere mockery of sweet, sweet pork. We would not be so easily overcome, no! Yet, as the night wore on (ed: read 5 minutes later)