Another Burrito Sighting

Although not as amazing as the one consumed by Fulsome Q. McEmpty-Stomach, it appears as though another burrito was causing a ruckus earlier this year.

From the article:

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semicircle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

“There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door,” said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

Adding–off the record, “I don’t want my kids coming in contact with giant burritos. What if they come home, see the size of my burrito and begin to feel it is inadequate.”

And it is understandable why she’d feel that way. From the description in the report, it sounds delicious:

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapeños and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

When the burrito smuggling perpetrator (a dangerous 8th greater with an intense hunger for Mexican food) was later questioned about why the burrito needed to where a t-shirt, he simply responded by pointing towards the “GLOOOOOOOOOOOB” and “What Hath The Snacking Gods Wrought” on the t-shirt. The t-shirt also included a link to some sort of extremist website called “3Bulls” which as of this writing none of our linguists have yet been able to decipher.

Fortunately this tale ends in a positive way:

“The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief,” Morrissey said.

“Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It’s Burrito Boy.”

No further burrito related incidents have been reported.

8 thoughts on “Another Burrito Sighting”

  1. amazing – i’m a HUGE morrissey fan and i had no previous knowlege of this burrito incident.

  2. Hmm, maybe I’ll have to try one of those “Freebirds” burritos next time my work sends me to lovely San Antonio.

    Of course I’d have to leave the 1 mile stretch between my hotel and the airport.

    And really, I don’t even like leaving the tiny little room they make me work in there.

    I love not having any windows!

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