The Onion DC Branch Launch Party

On May 3rd, I gathered a stalwart crew and blazed a trail over to the Black Cat for the Onion’s DC Launch Party. The bill originally included Zach Galifianikis, (The Sounds of) Kaleidoscope, Georgie James and Neil Hamburger. Well, Zach cancelled and Aziz Ansari was brought in for our funny time. Onion Banner at the Black Cat photo from Liz Gorman The evening started at the Brickskeller where I ate a fine sandwich, a Lindemans Framboise and three Leinenkugels Berry Weiss and was thoroughly ready to enjoy a fine blend of comedy and music. iphone x case torras We few, we happy few, marched over and got in line. iphone 8 plus case jam The line moved relatively quickly and the weather was grand. The Black Cat does not have a lot of chairs and standing for a four to five hour show sucks, so we grabbed a table at the back. The Onion staff had tossed swag around the tables, buttons, bracelets and copies of that week’s Onion. We all grabbed some buttons and a bracelet or two and read the fake news while we waited for (The Sounds of) Kaleidoscope to start the show. The first sign of trouble was the Onion editor, Whatsisface, who came out to announce the band and the say hello. He was either terrified or bored out of his skull. He announced the band and shuffled off the stage. (The Sounds of) Kaleidoscope were a band that I think fulsome would label a wall-of-sound band. It might be their thing, but I would have preferred a band that mixed their sound to the point that it wasn’t all a barely coherent mashing of noise with some added yelling. If this was their ideal sound, then I have to say they kick ass at it. If not, then they should beat the sound guy.* They played for a while and we continued to read the Onion and look around at the crowd of people that all seemed intent on not paying attention to the band. (The Sounds of) Kaleidoscope, photo from Liz Gorman After a twenty minute or so intermission, Aziz Ansari came strolling out onto the stage and immediately started talking about how the drinks were a lot stronger than he expected. This was not a good sign. Neither was the fact that the crowd refused to shut up and pay attention to him. The crowd noise kept getting louder and eventually Aziz was shouting into his microphone to hear himself. Aziz’s jokes were clearly suffering from the drink and the crowd, so it was hard to judge his set on its humor quotient. The jokes fell into three categories: I’m famous now, I have a TV show on MTV, I hate MTV. He had three bits that really could have been funny if his timing hadn’t been ruined by the unexpectedly strong drink and the fucking annoying crowd. His first bit railed against the MTV reality shows and what we could hear of it was pretty funny. His bit about being recognized on the street thanks to his new show and then realizing that half of the people were trying to tell him his fly was open might have been funny. He had a rambling screed against censorship because he wasn’t allowed to make a joke about a dinosaur rapist, but this was really hard to hear and was followed by a series of jokes about some kid on his show, but I have no idea what the point was. The crowd acted like he was an inconvenience in their overly-cool lives. “Hey, it’s only six dollars to go drink upstairs at the Black Cat and look cool while I text my friends about how cool I am!” Fucking yipsters. Aziz doing his best, photo by Liz Gorman Aziz then played a couple of clips from Human Giant, but I couldn’t hear any of the audio and there were some problems with the projector. I admit that by this time I had given up on him which isn’t exactly fair, but it is what it is. Some of my crew had ventured forward to get close enough to hear him, but they reported that it was worse up front because the yelled conversations were much louder closer to the stage. Two culprits probably talking too loud, photo by Liz Gorman After a forty minute intermission, Georgie James finally came on to lead us to aural salvation. I first heard of them when they opened for Camera Obscura in July 2006. I liked them and thought that the singer looked remarkably similar to Anna Faris. While, after the sucky experience with Aziz Ansari, I still liked GJ and she still looked like Anna Faris. I got closer and the crowd finally shut up. striped iphone 7 case I was still annoyed about the last three hours of let downs, but stayed long enough to hear four or five of Georgie James songs. It was now after midnight and Neil Hamburger had been scheduled to come on at 11:15. I knew I was going to cab it back home but wasn’t thrilled with the idea of staying for the entire show. A friend offered me a ride home and I accepted. Doesn’t she look like Anna Faris, photo by Liz Gorman The music was fine and at least the tickets were only six bucks. If I were Aziz, I doubt I would be willing to do another show at the Black Cat, or even the rest of DC. iphone 8 phone case carbon fibre (The Sounds of) Kaleidoscope’s myspace page Georgie James’ myspace page All of the photos used in this post belong to Liz Gorman, as far as I know. iphone 6 case vw If she or the Wonkette people don’t like this, I’ll take them off.

3 thoughts on “The Onion DC Branch Launch Party”

  1. Hmmm, this makes me not regret going to this very much. I think going running and surfing the internet was probably a better choice.

    Also, the fact that you’re drinking three super fruity beers would normally be a cause for scorn. But since it’s leinenkugel’s I can’t bring myself to do it.

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