About a year ago, dontEATnachos traded me a computer in exchange for some professional services.* This thing was pretty rad, and considerably better than my jury-rigged old dog from 2008. I’ve already managed to break the new kid. Twice. I shall relate the story of the new kid in rhyme.**
My old dog still had XPpro, and basically worked, if you can excuse the graphics driver pulling shit fits fairly regularly.*** The hdd’s still had space, the graphics rendered at decent enough quality and framerates, and the processor rarely struggled. My most recent purchase for this computer was Fallout: New Vegas, and that ran fine, even modded. The problems were that I was getting some signs that the older of the two hdds was sick, and probably on it’s way to the great scrapyard in the sky,**** and that XP was soon to be left behind to history by Microsoft, while remaining in heavy use by damn near everyone. I was thinking about saving up for a new machine, and at the rate I was being paid, I would have achieved the savings of a decent 2013-2014 machine by 2077. Just in time to die, like the secondary hard drive. Incidentally, the dying hard drive has been previously mentioned on this site. The dying hard drive only holds…stuff, while the still good drive holds music and the OS. The only important fact is that my music is safe, for now, and that dontEATnachos gave me a cool new computer.
The new kid is neat,
She has three feet.
The new kid plays games,
But not the bad kind of games that involve your feelings. The good kind of games like Dragon Age.
The new kid is light,
Not 780 pounds like this Alienware machine that I still haven’t fixed.
The new kid wears black,
You don’t give a jack.*****
That’s all the rhymes you’ll get out of me. Back to the interminable saga about how I shouldn’t be allowed to own computers.
dontEATnachos had graciously included Dragon Age: Inquistion (with all DLC), Red Faction: Something, and a couple other games that I didn’t get to try. The new kid had a better video card with a working driver, and a large pair of hard drives in a RAID. The only thing the new kid didn’t have was a wireless internet adapter. I didn’t need this for a while, I kept the new kid safe and secure by not allowing it to connect to the internet, and left my old dog to slowly gather dust as an internet machine. Eventually, I got bored of switching from one computer to the other to look up information and tips for Dragon Age. I thought about running a long cord to the router downstairs, but had to give up when I realized that shoving a wire through the gaps in the floorboards was probably not the best idea in case the landlord decided to visit.****** No problem, I’ll just use my wifi dingle dangle from my old dog.
This was the first mistake. A couple days after installing the wifi dangle’s driver, the new kid crashed on startup without even blue-screening. Just powered down like I had pulled the plug halfway through start up. This kept happening with increasing frequency and sometimes the BSoD would flash on the screen for a brief moment. To get past this, I would just reboot the computer and it would usually work. I might have to unplug the computer and hit the power to empty the cobwebs in the capacitors, but it would usually boot up fine after a crash or two. After a couple months, I finally got a blue screen that stuck around and was able to write down the error code.
The error code indicated a wireless device driver was the source of the problem. So I uninstalled the driver, and installed a brand new version of the driver that was only about three weeks old that was supposed to fix this exact problem with W7. I rebooted the machine after installing, and that was the last time I was able to do anything on the new kid. The boot process was completely borked and would not complete at all. I tried a couple tricks, but nothing would work. I ended up giving the new kid to the trusted IT contractor we use in my office with the specific instructions that he save the data on the drives before doing anything else.
You can guess what the first thing my guy did was. After wiping the drives and attempting to get W7 to reinstall, he decided that the hard drives had been damaged in all the months of crashing and rebooting and power cycling. He said that the RAID driver had also become corrupted and that was bad, as dontEATnachos had said it would be if it were to happen. I only lost a few thousand words of several different stories, the most recent versions of those stories, and the games which were distracting me from those stories.
About five months after I surrendered the new kid to the tender mercies of my guy, he returned to me a working new kid with two new ssds with equivalent storage capacity, W7 Pro, and the full Office suite. Shortly thereafter, I backed up my stories to the computer, installed ZoneAlarm, Minecraft, Steam, Fallout: New Vegas, the Orange Box, Goat Simulator*******, Fallout, and Fallout 2. I was happy, I had my computer again, and I had a third safe place to work on and store my stories. Or so I thought.
With only one month of successful usage and operation under her belt, the new kid crashed shortly after startup one day. I rebooted and she worked just fine. Then she crashed after I loaded a save game in Half-Life 2. I rebooted and she worked just fine. I thought it was just an oddity. These incidents were just a hard crash to black when idling in Windows, and involved a video card stutter and total halt during game play. Then she crashed during startup. I started seeing blue screens, with a variety of errors. Nothing seemed consistent, and everything was still plugged in on the inside of the new kid. After consulting with dontEATnachos and another friendly professional, canadianLUMberjack, I’m guessing that the new kid’s power supply has died. I’m wondering if the power strip she is plugged into is still good. There’s a lamp on the same circuit that dims every now and then. I’m not a forensic electrician, or any sort of electrician, but I’m moving new kid to a different outlet and power strip after I install the new power supply.
I’ll take pictures, I know you’re just dying to see those.
* Barter economy is the best economy.
** No, I won’t. Well, maybe.
*** Save early, save often, vault dwellers.
**** My dusty box of hard drives and other computer parts in the bottom of my closet.
***** Good enough.
****** I shouldn’t have been worried about this, that landlord was a slumlord.
******* Brilliant and ridiculous. Absolutely wonderful.
******** You’re probably also wondering about the toilets thing, I’ll get pictures of that, too.